Gaming Super Mario Wonder review (updated)

Weebhunter3000

The Bee W Sea
(Original review)

The very first thing before starting the game was turning off those Reddit flowers that spout Marvel-tier one-liners at you every 5 seconds.

I've only played for about 3 hours but I think I have a good idea how the rest will play out.

Story

Bowser has finally had enough trying to get laid with Peach and has decided to go ER on a third-world country. It's your standard Mario plot really.

Sound & Music

It sucks. They tried too hard to make it le quirky and bouncy, as if they were trying to appeal to toddlers. There is nothing memorable or consistent like in Galaxy. Even New Super Mario Bros. had better music and that's saying something. And the sounds effects are all instrument noises and it gets grating real fast.

Graphics & Art

Still going for the toddler appeal. Lots of LGBT colors flying all over the place. It looks like everything is made of plastic which I assume is the fault of the new art style they were going for. The graphics themselves are slightly above mobile game level.

Gameplay

Bland and easy. Each level lasts for 2 minutes tops, unless you're going for the secrets. Which aren't really secret because the Reddit flowers will give you hints for most of them (You can't disable the text). The worst part is the difficulty is non-existent. You'll reach world 2 and maybe die once by falling into a pit because Mario controls like complete ass. It feels like he's jumping through molasses. Take Crash 4 in comparison, it feels snappy and responsive. You never feel you have to guess with your jumps. Can't say the same here.

The level design is as expected, it was designed with 4 players in mind so you get long stretches of platforms with nothing in between. So you're wasting a lot of time running through empty pastures like an idiot.

Conclusion

Final score: 4/10. The game is your run-of-the-mill goyslop. 93 on metacritic my ass they are all bought shills.

Updated Review:

I did everything in the game and it never got better. There were about 8 special stages and despite the developers claiming it was the hardest content they've ever made for Mario, it was fucking easy. There is no redeeming factor for this game even if you like collectathons because there is way too much tedium in replaying the same boring empty levels over and over again. Play The End Is Nigh instead.

2/10
 
(Original review)

The very first thing before starting the game was turning off those Reddit flowers that spout Marvel-tier one-liners at you every 5 seconds.

I've only played for about 3 hours but I think I have a good idea how the rest will play out.

Story

Bowser has finally had enough trying to get laid with Peach and has decided to go ER on a third-world country. It's your standard Mario plot really.

Sound & Music

It sucks. They tried too hard to make it le quirky and bouncy, as if they were trying to appeal to toddlers. There is nothing memorable or consistent like in Galaxy. Even New Super Mario Bros. had better music and that's saying something. And the sounds effects are all instrument noises and it gets grating real fast.

Graphics & Art

Still going for the toddler appeal. Lots of LGBT colors flying all over the place. It looks like everything is made of plastic which I assume is the fault of the new art style they were going for. The graphics themselves are slightly above mobile game level.

Gameplay

Bland and easy. Each level lasts for 2 minutes tops, unless you're going for the secrets. Which aren't really secret because the Reddit flowers will give you hints for most of them (You can't disable the text). The worst part is the difficulty is non-existent. You'll reach world 2 and maybe die once by falling into a pit because Mario controls like complete ass. It feels like he's jumping through molasses. Take Crash 4 in comparison, it feels snappy and responsive. You never feel you have to guess with your jumps. Can't say the same here.

The level design is as expected, it was designed with 4 players in mind so you get long stretches of platforms with nothing in between. So you're wasting a lot of time running through empty pastures like an idiot.

Conclusion

Final score: 4/10. The game is your run-of-the-mill goyslop. 93 on metacritic my ass they are all bought shills.

Updated Review:

I did everything in the game and it never got better. There were about 8 special stages and despite the developers claiming it was the hardest content they've ever made for Mario, it was fucking easy. There is no redeeming factor for this game even if you like collectathons because there is way too much tedium in replaying the same boring empty levels over and over again. Play The End Is Nigh instead.

2/10
Have you played Freedom Planet?

I started playing it after buying it for £4 and at first I thought it was some mediocre wannabe sonic clone, but after the first stage the game feels like its own and gets difficult (but fair) pretty fast.

You don't just mindlessly run through levels and destroy enemies, instead you must learn your enemies attack and then strike at the right moment.

This does clash with the fact that the game, like sonic, encourages speed, so normally you end up running into things, but if you take your time to take in whats coming up, you can plan accordingly although the game is fast paced and you must have high reflexes to avoid enemy attacks

Music is good and the graphics are nice

 
Screenshot 2024-08-21 162856.webp


> My 3 year old son loves this game so much. He is too young to play. But he gets super excited watching me play. Watching him giggle, laugh and scream with excitement is so adorable. Thank you Nintendo. What a lovely game!

OMG SAME I LOVE HECKIN MARIO!!!1

soyjak quintet (Mario) | Soy Boy Face / Soyjak | Know Your Meme
 
Have you played Freedom Planet?

I started playing it after buying it for £4 and at first I thought it was some mediocre wannabe sonic clone, but after the first stage the game feels like its own and gets difficult (but fair) pretty fast.

You don't just mindlessly run through levels and destroy enemies, instead you must learn your enemies attack and then strike at the right moment.

This does clash with the fact that the game, like sonic, encourages speed, so normally you end up running into things, but if you take your time to take in whats coming up, you can plan accordingly although the game is fast paced and you must have high reflexes to avoid enemy attacks

Music is good and the graphics are nice

Always assumed it was a Sonic clone for furries. But I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try considering there’s nothing else to play right now.
 
The last time I laid my hands on a Nintendo game was in 2005 when I finally tried SMW. Wasn't too impressed by it. I was always a Sony fan since the PS1 so I'm slightly biased against anything that isn't third-person action.
 
Have you played Freedom Planet?

I started playing it after buying it for £4 and at first I thought it was some mediocre wannabe sonic clone, but after the first stage the game feels like its own and gets difficult (but fair) pretty fast.

You don't just mindlessly run through levels and destroy enemies, instead you must learn your enemies attack and then strike at the right moment.

This does clash with the fact that the game, like sonic, encourages speed, so normally you end up running into things, but if you take your time to take in whats coming up, you can plan accordingly although the game is fast paced and you must have high reflexes to avoid enemy attacks

Music is good and the graphics are nice

Freedom Planet's characters are gay. Female protagonist? Oh, hell no!
 
Why is it normal for grown men to address another grown man as buddy? Buddy is something you call a child or a dog. There's this mass of men out there, mostly insecure rednecks who lean conservative who call other men "buddy". It's always those blue collar tradie scum bags using that word.
Intelligent, white collar professionals don't address their coworkers as "buddy", nobody in the corporate world does that except a higher up trying to humiliate and demean people in lower positions. Key words, humiliate and demean.

Then you go out the country. You find the temporarily embarrassed millionaire Trump supporter with the red neck, fat, obese, wearing mossy oak, 2nd amendment bumper stickers on their faggot truck being all nice to you to your face and then calling you "buddy".

Fucking die a slow painful death, you trash.
 
Why is it normal for grown men to address another grown man as buddy? Buddy is something you call a child or a dog. There's this mass of men out there, mostly insecure rednecks who lean conservative who call other men "buddy". It's always those blue collar tradie scum bags using that word.
Intelligent, white collar professionals don't address their coworkers as "buddy", nobody in the corporate world does that except a higher up trying to humiliate and demean people in lower positions. Key words, humiliate and demean.

Then you go out the country. You find the temporarily embarrassed millionaire Trump supporter with the red neck, fat, obese, wearing mossy oak, 2nd amendment bumper stickers on their faggot truck being all nice to you to your face and then calling you "buddy".

Fucking die a slow painful death, you trash.
New pasta. Thanks, buddy.
 
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