DirtyCurryCell
Well-known member
Idk. I have a lot of PTSD and Trauma from bullying and rejections.
But I feel like overall, my intelligence was heavily NERFED and I was neutered. I know part of it is due to not having a stable education in my formative years. When I think if I think of school, I feel physical pain. Most people would remember boring lessons. I just remember being bullied and beaten.
But it's more than that. I can't concentrate on something I'm not interested in. I used to be good at programming. But I sorta lost my passion for it as time went on. Mostly because I got stuck in tutorial hell. Now my main problem is that I can't seem to focus on it at all. I used to move quickly through programming questions. But these days I know a lot of theory, but idk how to implement them. Like Navigating a linked list in C++ for example. I know how to do it, but I need a sample code with me to implement it.
And when I write something, I usually end up making spelling or grammatical mistakes. I lose concentration. That kinda stuff.
I honestly don't know what's going on.
I feel like an encyclopaedia with with blank entries. A library with blank books. Like you can find any book in the world. But once you open the books, the page are all blank...
idk if it's just me.
But I feel like overall, my intelligence was heavily NERFED and I was neutered. I know part of it is due to not having a stable education in my formative years. When I think if I think of school, I feel physical pain. Most people would remember boring lessons. I just remember being bullied and beaten.
But it's more than that. I can't concentrate on something I'm not interested in. I used to be good at programming. But I sorta lost my passion for it as time went on. Mostly because I got stuck in tutorial hell. Now my main problem is that I can't seem to focus on it at all. I used to move quickly through programming questions. But these days I know a lot of theory, but idk how to implement them. Like Navigating a linked list in C++ for example. I know how to do it, but I need a sample code with me to implement it.
And when I write something, I usually end up making spelling or grammatical mistakes. I lose concentration. That kinda stuff.
I honestly don't know what's going on.
I feel like an encyclopaedia with with blank entries. A library with blank books. Like you can find any book in the world. But once you open the books, the page are all blank...
idk if it's just me.
