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Serious Being 20 is shit.

Joined
Jun 29, 2023
Messages
174
Is it just me, or does anyone else believe that, after you reach 20 (Which is where I'm at) Life begins to go downhill? Being a child and teenager has its ups and downs, but by the time you are in your 20s... that is hen life begins to get worse and worse. The body begins to naturally break down, you start getting aches and pains at random points and you just want death to come. I reached 20 a few months ago and I can feel things that I have not felt before.
 
Is it just me, or does anyone else believe that, after you reach 20 (Which is where I'm at) Life begins to go downhill? Being a child and teenager has its ups and downs, but by the time you are in your 20s... that is hen life begins to get worse and worse. The body begins to naturally break down, you start getting aches and pains at random points and you just want death to come. I reached 20 a few months ago and I can feel things that I have not felt before.
Jup thats true 19-21 is peak than its downhill from there. Thats why you have all those celebs offing themself at 27. They need some years to realize their life sucks from now.
 
I feel better and look better at 23 compared to when I was 20, one thing that I think is fucked is how its hard to get health insurance and dental care after you're 18.

Another thing I noticed was that once I turned 18 was that people started treating me differently and expected me to know everything "cuz I was 18"
 
The 20s are Depressing because all the Chads and Women are going out and having fun while the Incels are left alone and depressed and during the 20s most Normies get Married and have Kids
 
Start exercising more man. If you're experiencing symptoms or pains of someone at a much older age when you're only 20, then that's entirely on you.
Agree. Exercising outside under the sun becomes a necessity after one turns 20, if I don't run rounds I can't stay awake in the afternoon.
 
The 20s are Depressing because all the Chads and Women are going out and having fun while the Incels are left alone and depressed and during the 20s most Normies get Married and have Kids
1693132545055435.gif

I agree, I struggle with depression in my 20s a lot.
 
Is it just me, or does anyone else believe that, after you reach 20 (Which is where I'm at) Life begins to go downhill? Being a child and teenager has its ups and downs, but by the time you are in your 20s... that is hen life begins to get worse and worse. The body begins to naturally break down, you start getting aches and pains at random points and you just want death to come. I reached 20 a few months ago and I can feel things that I have not felt before.
I'm gonna use my first post here to give you constructive insight. I am a little older than you and have faced many many challenges which have hindered me greatly. These circumstances that were COMPLETELY out of my control, both medical and financial. Here is what I have to say:

You can't control circumstances that go against you, you can only control your response to them in order to overcome and succeed, and in order to do that, you need the tools of discipline, perseverance, and competence.

Now I know I probably sound like your run of the mill "self improoover" but it's true. You need to cultivate the "special stuff" to turn yourself into a force of nature, and that means adhering to responsibility, it means training your mind as well as your body every day, it means meeting challenges and facing goals without fear, and pretty soon you'll find yourself LOOKING for things to challenge yourself and expand your horizon. We're in our twenties, dude, the world is our fucking oyster.

You need to regard yourself as a fine wine, you need to wake up in the morning and say, "I only get better with age." My grandfather told me that in his time you were considered an adult pretty much by the time you were 16. Now we have 30 year olds soying over their nintendo switches and people in their late 20s with pokemon tattoos.

You will NOT despair if you adhere to the winning mindset; if you put in the effort, I mean really work and put in the effort every day starting now, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish in just a year. I promise you, but you have to be hungry for it.

Now I will describe HOW to cultivate these three things. It's easy to talk in layman's terms about them, but I must describe them in detail because they are the most necessary aspects of self improvement:

How to Cultivate Discipline
gettyimages-72377363-5c5707f0-0123-45c9-8776-924e08c46d1f.jpg


How do you get the energy to consistently improve your body and mind? It seems so easy to just dick off and be lazy, how do you truly improve if you have no discipline? The truth is you can't improve without consistent effort, that's a solid fact. The secret to keeping your effort consistent is to SET REALISTIC GOALS FOR YOURSELF, then you will find yourself improving to meet those goals. When I got out of a lengthy hospital stay I had lost almost 50 pounds of muscle that had taken me my whole highschool career to obtain. I had become a literal stick figure. When I went to the gym for the first time in a few months I found that I could barely bench the bar. I was 125 pounds. I then promised myself that I would work my way back up to bench at least 1 plate (45 pounds on each side) once again. So I went to the gym nearly every evening and steadily increased my strength, I forced myself to eat more so I wouldn't wither away, I bench pressed in my dreams. Finally after a few weeks of consistent effort I benched 1 plate again, and now I bench 2 plates for reps. (Funnily enough I now prefer stamina training, and only lift heavy about 1-2 times a week, but I won't get into that).

There was a book I remember wanting to read, (The Way of Men, by Jack Donovan), but I always found myself preoccupied doing other shit, so it always kinda picked up dust in my library along with all the other books I had ordered. So one day I was cleaning my room and I saw it and remembered and thought, "Why did I never finish this?" and then I looked at the pages and saw it was about 150. Alright. I decided that in the same manner that I train I would work on reading the book and internalize its messages. How?
By cutting it up into 25 page intervals. I promised myself to read 25 pages every day. That way I wouldn't get burned out and I could comprehend what the author was trying to say. And now I believe it's one of the most important books for understanding the characteristics of men. It was exactly what I was lacking in terms of my own character and because I had the discipline to read it it helped me grow as a person. I then applied this method to other books and now reading is a genuinely enjoyable experience for me.

When you set realistic goals for yourself and you promise to obtain them the "discipline" comes naturally.

The Art of Perseverance
main-qimg-c0ea86affffc1c08bb2bb25091c92cca-pjlq


I like to think of perseverance as the ability to fight self-doubt and other factors that may hinder you from achieving your goals. It is a conscious effort to say, "I will remain on track to achieve what I set out to do. Even if the results are not what I want, I will not give up." And the only correct response if you somehow don't achieve what you set out to do is of course, "I will learn from my failures and try again."

You must take the words "I can't" out of your vocabulary.

I was preparing for a big jiu jitsu tournament for about three months despite being relatively new to the sport. I trained and trained and watched instructionals every day and even took time off work to fit in more time on the mats. One of the stuck up black belts in my gym sneered and asked me, "Why? Who cares about competing, just stick to classes and learn you idiot." Why did I want to risk my health and win so badly? Why did I care about competing? Because I wanted to challenge myself and I wanted the experience that comes with competing in order to grow as a practitioner of the art. And I wanted a gold medal.

The day of the match I was nervous as hell with anticipation. The fight was set and I forgot how to breathe in the first 10 seconds which got me swept and down on points, I maintained my guard and swept my opponent but landed right in his closed guard (Which is very bad). I defended his submission attempts and got very close to breaking free and passing but I was exhausted and he would not let go, and I was swept just as the time ran out which made me lose to points. I was devastated.

Later in the crowd I found my opponent and asked him how he did, he said that he lost his second match and was also eliminated, (There were 9-10 people in our bracket, so neither of us received medals). He told me that the match he had with me was at least twice as hard, and that I was an extremely tough opponent for a one stripe whitebelt. He was shocked by the fact that I had picked him up off the ground with one arm while in his guard. Looking at the experience, I had lost, but I had persevered till the very end, and I had proven myself strong and willing to challenge myself, and for that I was proud, and now I'm eager to compete again.

If you need the motivation to stay on track, merely picture yourself succeeding, cast aside all doubt, and gun toward your goal with determination. You will be impressed by the results, win or lose.

How to Become Competent
57a249251bc70923008b4601

To be a competent individual is to be a certain individual. Certainty comes with knowledge and experience and thankfully they can both be cultivated with time.

A master chess player can think multiple moves ahead of his opponent because he's invested so much time into chess that the board resembles more a directory of movesets and principles rather than a game. He is leagues more competent when it comes to chess versus a hobbyist because of his time spent playing.

This can be applied to anything you want:

Throughout highschool I was very much a loner. I didn't realize that I was on the spectrum or that people thought I was strange, I yearned for friends who would appreciate me as a person and who I could socialize and be normal with, but I was too scared and too different to talk to people. I thought lifting would gain me the respect of my peers and grant me confidence, but it only made me physically stronger, and people became afraid of me. Eventually out of highschool I picked up a job that forced me to be social, I read "How to Make Friends and Influence People", and used its teachings to grant me success in my social endeavors. Now I regularly have people who ask ME to hang out with them and who bother ME to try and grab my attention and time. I'm now worthy of someone else's time, even girls, can you believe that?

I lacked social competence. I was too used to talking to people behind computer screens and playing video games. I didn't want to understand people and in turn people didn't want to understand me. And as a result I was very lonely and very sad all the time.

The competent man is a man who is certain about his actions. He knows what decisions will contribute to his success and their likely outcomes and what decisions will lead to his destruction. That knowledge can only be gained by immersing himself in his respective field, and remaining consistent.

Competence is what makes an adult.

Internalize These Principles
Caspar_David_Friedrich_-_Wanderer_above_the_sea_of_fog.jpg


If you internalize these principles: Discipline, Perseverance, Competence, you will be amazed at just how much you can change as a person in a year's time. I promise. You say life goes downhill when you hit 20 but I say it's just beginning. Believe in yourself and be willing to change for the better. If you do, I can guarantee you true happiness.

I think I'll repost this as a thread on its own.
 
I'm gonna use my first post here to give you constructive insight. I am a little older than you and have faced many many challenges which have hindered me greatly. These circumstances that were COMPLETELY out of my control, both medical and financial. Here is what I have to say:

You can't control circumstances that go against you, you can only control your response to them in order to overcome and succeed, and in order to do that, you need the tools of discipline, perseverance, and competence.

Now I know I probably sound like your run of the mill "self improoover" but it's true. You need to cultivate the "special stuff" to turn yourself into a force of nature, and that means adhering to responsibility, it means training your mind as well as your body every day, it means meeting challenges and facing goals without fear, and pretty soon you'll find yourself LOOKING for things to challenge yourself and expand your horizon. We're in our twenties, dude, the world is our fucking oyster.

You need to regard yourself as a fine wine, you need to wake up in the morning and say, "I only get better with age." My grandfather told me that in his time you were considered an adult pretty much by the time you were 16. Now we have 30 year olds soying over their nintendo switches and people in their late 20s with pokemon tattoos.

You will NOT despair if you adhere to the winning mindset; if you put in the effort, I mean really work and put in the effort every day starting now, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish in just a year. I promise you, but you have to be hungry for it.

Now I will describe HOW to cultivate these three things. It's easy to talk in layman's terms about them, but I must describe them in detail because they are the most necessary aspects of self improvement:

How to Cultivate Discipline
gettyimages-72377363-5c5707f0-0123-45c9-8776-924e08c46d1f.jpg


How do you get the energy to consistently improve your body and mind? It seems so easy to just dick off and be lazy, how do you truly improve if you have no discipline? The truth is you can't improve without consistent effort, that's a solid fact. The secret to keeping your effort consistent is to SET REALISTIC GOALS FOR YOURSELF, then you will find yourself improving to meet those goals. When I got out of a lengthy hospital stay I had lost almost 50 pounds of muscle that had taken me my whole highschool career to obtain. I had become a literal stick figure. When I went to the gym for the first time in a few months I found that I could barely bench the bar. I was 125 pounds. I then promised myself that I would work my way back up to bench at least 1 plate (45 pounds on each side) once again. So I went to the gym nearly every evening and steadily increased my strength, I forced myself to eat more so I wouldn't wither away, I bench pressed in my dreams. Finally after a few weeks of consistent effort I benched 1 plate again, and now I bench 2 plates for reps. (Funnily enough I now prefer stamina training, and only lift heavy about 1-2 times a week, but I won't get into that).

There was a book I remember wanting to read, (The Way of Men, by Jack Donovan), but I always found myself preoccupied doing other shit, so it always kinda picked up dust in my library along with all the other books I had ordered. So one day I was cleaning my room and I saw it and remembered and thought, "Why did I never finish this?" and then I looked at the pages and saw it was about 150. Alright. I decided that in the same manner that I train I would work on reading the book and internalize its messages. How?
By cutting it up into 25 page intervals. I promised myself to read 25 pages every day. That way I wouldn't get burned out and I could comprehend what the author was trying to say. And now I believe it's one of the most important books for understanding the characteristics of men. It was exactly what I was lacking in terms of my own character and because I had the discipline to read it it helped me grow as a person. I then applied this method to other books and now reading is a genuinely enjoyable experience for me.

When you set realistic goals for yourself and you promise to obtain them the "discipline" comes naturally.

The Art of Perseverance
main-qimg-c0ea86affffc1c08bb2bb25091c92cca-pjlq


I like to think of perseverance as the ability to fight self-doubt and other factors that may hinder you from achieving your goals. It is a conscious effort to say, "I will remain on track to achieve what I set out to do. Even if the results are not what I want, I will not give up." And the only correct response if you somehow don't achieve what you set out to do is of course, "I will learn from my failures and try again."

You must take the words "I can't" out of your vocabulary.

I was preparing for a big jiu jitsu tournament for about three months despite being relatively new to the sport. I trained and trained and watched instructionals every day and even took time off work to fit in more time on the mats. One of the stuck up black belts in my gym sneered and asked me, "Why? Who cares about competing, just stick to classes and learn you idiot." Why did I want to risk my health and win so badly? Why did I care about competing? Because I wanted to challenge myself and I wanted the experience that comes with competing in order to grow as a practitioner of the art. And I wanted a gold medal.

The day of the match I was nervous as hell with anticipation. The fight was set and I forgot how to breathe in the first 10 seconds which got me swept and down on points, I maintained my guard and swept my opponent but landed right in his closed guard (Which is very bad). I defended his submission attempts and got very close to breaking free and passing but I was exhausted and he would not let go, and I was swept just as the time ran out which made me lose to points. I was devastated.

Later in the crowd I found my opponent and asked him how he did, he said that he lost his second match and was also eliminated, (There were 9-10 people in our bracket, so neither of us received medals). He told me that the match he had with me was at least twice as hard, and that I was an extremely tough opponent for a one stripe whitebelt. He was shocked by the fact that I had picked him up off the ground with one arm while in his guard. Looking at the experience, I had lost, but I had persevered till the very end, and I had proven myself strong and willing to challenge myself, and for that I was proud, and now I'm eager to compete again.

If you need the motivation to stay on track, merely picture yourself succeeding, cast aside all doubt, and gun toward your goal with determination. You will be impressed by the results, win or lose.

How to Become Competent
57a249251bc70923008b4601

To be a competent individual is to be a certain individual. Certainty comes with knowledge and experience and thankfully they can both be cultivated with time.

A master chess player can think multiple moves ahead of his opponent because he's invested so much time into chess that the board resembles more a directory of movesets and principles rather than a game. He is leagues more competent when it comes to chess versus a hobbyist because of his time spent playing.

This can be applied to anything you want:

Throughout highschool I was very much a loner. I didn't realize that I was on the spectrum or that people thought I was strange, I yearned for friends who would appreciate me as a person and who I could socialize and be normal with, but I was too scared and too different to talk to people. I thought lifting would gain me the respect of my peers and grant me confidence, but it only made me physically stronger, and people became afraid of me. Eventually out of highschool I picked up a job that forced me to be social, I read "How to Make Friends and Influence People", and used its teachings to grant me success in my social endeavors. Now I regularly have people who ask ME to hang out with them and who bother ME to try and grab my attention and time. I'm now worthy of someone else's time, even girls, can you believe that?

I lacked social competence. I was too used to talking to people behind computer screens and playing video games. I didn't want to understand people and in turn people didn't want to understand me. And as a result I was very lonely and very sad all the time.

The competent man is a man who is certain about his actions. He knows what decisions will contribute to his success and their likely outcomes and what decisions will lead to his destruction. That knowledge can only be gained by immersing himself in his respective field, and remaining consistent.

Competence is what makes an adult.

Internalize These Principles
Caspar_David_Friedrich_-_Wanderer_above_the_sea_of_fog.jpg


If you internalize these principles: Discipline, Perseverance, Competence, you will be amazed at just how much you can change as a person in a year's time. I promise. You say life goes downhill when you hit 20 but I say it's just beginning. Believe in yourself and be willing to change for the better. If you do, I can guarantee you true happiness.

I think I'll repost this as a thread on its own.
Not a molecule

@Weebhunter3000 ban users that use more than 2 sentences in a reply tbh
 
Don't be upset that it's better than your constant Reddit reposts about landwhales and their boyfriends.
It's been 2 weeks since I initiated anything, and >2 months since actual sex. My wife seemed to be in a flirty mood tonight though and was trying on some new outfits right in front of me for the month ahead. She looked hot, as always - I don't hold compliments back with her. Afterwards, I invited her to cuddle and share in some pillow chat; we talked for a long while, and I eventually brought up the lack of intimacy for what seems like the umpteenth time.
"This weekend! Let's go lots of times."
😐
And I had a sudden sensation dawn on my that I've been here before. Almost nothing ever happens in the moment, when we're already half naked and cuddling in bed with the kid sound asleep. The ball is always kicked down the road: tomorrow night, this weekend, wait until this or that, but rarely ever right then and now.
"You're tired, aren't you?"We have to be up early tomorrow.""I feel kinda bleh.""I haven't showered.""You're always so horny.""Will you even still love me like this when I'm old and wrinkly?""Let's just go to sleep - we have lots of free time ahead of us."
I don't even feel hopeful for the weekend. What energy I have will be spent fathering like a boss, giving our kid the best time with his parents, cleaning the pool, getting a house project out of the way, cooking up a nice meal, and when the day is done I'll probably muse fondly over nights long gone with a cigar and a dram.

He's just a manlet
 
I read "How to Make Friends and Influence People"
This book is actually something everyone should read regardless of their social stance. Even after all these years, I still remember reading about how much value people give to their names. And remembering them after you meet for the first time can actually change their perception of you. It saved my ass a few times when I was working.
 
This book is actually something everyone should read regardless of their social stance. Even after all these years, I still remember reading about how much value people give to their names. And remembering them after you meet for the first time can actually change their perception of you. It saved my ass a few times when I was working.
The part about the author using his daughter to influence some mundane bullshit choice out of his wife was the "best" tbh but realistically that book is just common sense
 
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